8jan2026 its been a year since i've done one of these oops. (i dont think i ever published dec 2024 so a treat.)

i've been doing pretty well, i think my body appreciates not being so depressed during summer and i find i have a lot of motivation around the new year. i did my first (2nd i guess technically) roster of casual work at a butcher and had a really good time. they seemed to like me so hopefully i'll be going back to do more! animal, i love meat :].

art-wise, i've finially finished a big comm that was eating at me, really happy with the result though! and i've been doing a grid of pokemon adopts in destruction call-- i should make a dc shrine or smth hmm.

anyway, just really happy with my productivity this week between house cleaning, ticking off owed art and going on errands i think im doing a good jobbbb.

26december2024 [sounding just dead tired] hi beasts.

god i am so pissed off.

i got ai bullshit for xmas

literally kill me.

its salvagable (by which i mean i will be binning it as soon as possible) but jesus christ. honestly the thought (or lack there of) is most hurtful. like, at the crux of it, i don't care, i know it was a mistake. but i am literally an artist and i've talked before about how ai is bad, and to receive it as a gift is just a fucking huge slap in the face. among other things that happened on christmas but eh.

anyway this supid t-shirt and some picture frame art (thankfully i can throw out the paper and keep the frames cause they're cute) have really shot my brain cause now i gotta confront this like 'sorry was this a mistake? this is literally every i am against'. a kind of situation that my brain is just going to be mulling over. hopefully it goes fine, again, i don't care. i don't /want/ to care. i don't want to be spending time thinking about this!!!! doesnt help the shirt has japanese text on it that doesnt mean anything lmao

so yeah! been busy, i've officially finished all art with a deadline, i am Free once again and keen to get back into it. i passed my driver knowledge test so i can legally drive a car wahoo gonna have to organise some lessons for that. the most exciting thing that happened though was i got to go to sydney with my beloved!! we've had this trip organised since the start of the year and it was the very first holiday we've been on together since we got together :]. it was really fun, even the 35℃ day we went to luna park. got to go on my first roller coaster which was super fun. the next day we went to the aquarium, honestly taking our transformer toys to the aquarium was maybe the highlight. the final night we saw the dan and phil live show terrible influence which was really good! the last show i'd seen in the theater was a wtnv one so it was very fun, we even managed to get some merch :V. other than that we wandered around sydney and looked for transformers stuff lol, i bought a shirt bc it reminded me of starscream, good times.

speaking of transformers it has completely taken over my brain. i think we've watched tfone like 8 times now, its just saur gooodd. that reminds me i gotta update my figure collection on here....

24september2024 wahooo!! it is currently 4AM as i write this and i'm feeling pretty wired and happy lol. i meant to write up a log a couple days ago but its slipped my mind.. i've finished up all my owed art bar one piece so i'm feeling-- ok-ish productivity-wise. i just, as in an hour ago on the dot, uploaded a new sona to my th. i'm super happy with them, finally a fursona [insert that scientist meme🧪].

i (re)played the beginning of alien: isolation a bit ago and really hope i'll continue i wanna be scared by the alien lol. also i was reminded of the iron lung movie which i am super keen to see when it comes out, my interest in horror/deep sea thiller movies has only waned a little in the past year hahah.

lastly i'm working on my driver's license.. i hope the road doesn't feel as scary when i get some practise in. all being well i should pass the knowledge test this week, just gotta find time to go in....

OH and the actual last thing i want to hark on but i had to go in to collect a package today and it was the teeny tiniest little thing like 10cm².. why aus post, why, kudos to the people at the post office for actually finding it. definitely worth the trip.

23june2024 this month has just sped away from me. i swear we were two weeks in before i had even blinked. now that i've been working on art its been more manageable and im sure my poor sleeping habits arent helping much. in fact i had a dream last night that involved me pulling clumps of hair out of my throat so that was charming and an accurate reflection of how i currently feel.

i promise that not every entry here will be about my bad dreams though. as said i feel this month just went by super fast. i'm currently drawing for a lot of different things, i've been enjoying updating my toyhouse with oc junk and preparing for my first year of art fight next month. i think i need to figure out some kind of schedule with my shop as i have an endless amount of ideas but am stuggling to get them done alongside bigger projects. blah time management. despite having a list of pages in progress, i have been mulling over an idea for a kind of update corner page where i can upload art and concepts and talk a bit about them, i'd love to start uploading to my yt channel again. anyway it would be like a ko-fi or patreon but i dont want to put that stuff behind a paywall. maybe i'll revist it after july i have a lot of stuff i need to get in order.

lowkey i need to clean my house too, storage is kind of a nightmare atm. in nicer news: i watched House (1977) for the first time recently and it was such a banger i really really liked it

24may2024 hihi! hope you're doing well. i feel kind of frazzled rn, not for any reason i think, just have lots on my mind. i feel like i'm knee deep in multiple projects which feels good but then i want them all the be progressing but i can only work on one at a time. this month was pretty busy being taken up by house & cat sitting for my parents which was good i did a lot of cleaning up ^^''. but now i'm keen to get back into my own stuff. some cool news but i was accepted onto the committee of my state's pop culture convention, i'm doing art and gd for it and its been really cool, so happy to be a part of something i've been attending for multiple years!

also started working on a game with my partner of our ocs. hoping to make a bit of an intro page for them like a did the wastes. additionally, i've been trying to think about [secret project] as mentioned on the index pg, i worry that's a pretty vague name but its just an original project lol. don't know when i'll have time to commit to it but i enjoy rotating in my brain as they say.

4may2024 first off happy birthday fujita for the 2nd, sorry i haven't drawn you anything king u__u. second i wanted to also acknowledge my t anniversary, i've been on hormones for 2 years hell yeah. been feeling very good and positive overall, especially in the gender department. i recall a year ago i was pretty depressed about the whole thing and full of a lot of complicated feelings (probably the *handwaves* various problems i was going thru) but im just chillin now, and yeah, happy with myself.

anyway, been thinking about top surgery too. i think i do want it. or at least i know i'd be happier for it. its just eehhhh money, travel etc. idk i should look into it more but talking about myself and my needs has never been my top priority. i will think about it tho, not neglecting myself lol. anyway, if ur trans and reading this i love you and if you're cis too bad youre trans now

22apr2024 ok something i do want a permanent record of:

Listerine® Citrus Fruits TASTES TERRIBLE YUCKYYYY i hate you!!!!!!!!!!!! you give it a sniff and it just smells like medicine... not promising.. then you take a mouthful of it, and it sure does taste how it smells, Which is extra bad because unlike medicine you need to swish it around your mouth. made incredibly hard when it just being in proximity to your tastebuds makes you want to retch. does not belong in a mouth; the opposite of what you want to be as a mouthwash. did Not taste like delicious Citrus Fruits, more like dimetapp thats been left out in the sun. dont buy this. made me feel sick and gave me a headache, its been hours. disgusting, nasty 0/10 banished beneath the sink with you.

maybe this site needs a review section.

19apr2024 warning for discussion of triggering content but i wont go into said content cause i dont need a permenant record of that....

i had something trigger me pretty badly, at the time i thought i was fine but ehhh haha its been like a week and i've had nonstop semi-lucid dreams (feels very real but i have little to no control) that are of distressing scenarios and make me feel like i just had the most dogshit sleep. so great fun- i thought maybe it was med stuff but i think it was the trigger which is shitty. hopefully things get better blehhg

in more fun news i watched Tetsuo: The Ion Man for the first time the other night and it was so fucking good, def looking forward to a rewatch.

i've been working on an oc site (a different site than the wastes rip lol) and i think its coming along wellll, i'm using a little js for some aspects so im kinda learning. speaking of the wastes website, i'm kinda scared to go back bc i feel like i've learnt a lot making this site and the other ocs site, im gonna have to redo some aspects.. anyway problem for future me amirite

08apr2024 hi... lol its been a hot minute and this page is a bit bare bones. anyway, i wanted to write an entry about today cause it was really nice. i woke up at like 2pm lawl, i couldn't sleep bc i was thinking about all the old tv boxes we have outside. i was in need of a monitor stand for a second monitor (not connected yet but Soon tm) anyway i got up today and found one that was perfect ! also gives me more space to display shit on my desk which is neat, desk tour eventually.... anyway then later i went out with my partner and parents for an early bday dinner, i hade duck and a pork/garlic spring roll and a cider, it was superrrr tasty, i think i should've gotten pear over apple cider but eh. it was nice to just chill with my family. oh! and i got some presents, clothes and a gift card which im very excited about bc i am in dire need of pants. we got back and i'm just tinkering away at my website. this is my first bday being medicated lol and its realling turning out to have a huge (positive) impact, which is a nice change from the birthday aversion i've had in the past. omg i'm so scattered, this is what i get for listing to music while writing-- i'm also thinking of cleaning up a bunch of the tech i found. also a few days ago i bought myself a bday gift from choir chain and i think it flipped a switch or smth in my brain because i feel more Me ? or like i'm actually able to present how i want, aesthetically, maybe. anyway, feeling happy rn and looking forward to my 24th o(*￣▽￣*)ブ

oct2023 coded a fake desktop thingi for the wastes website (not live yet), i'm super happy with it for a first attempt. all the windows behave as they should lmao. i should really make an effort to learn how javascript works.

oct2023 wishing i knew where my wii was, coding this layout is making me want to play pokepark :[